An American Girl in Washington

A Christmas (not) to remember

Posted in All about moi by AGinDC on 27 December 2010

This Christmas was like an Agatha Christie mystery described in a Far Side cartoon.  I found out at about 11pm on Christmas Eve that my friend Ferr was also staying in town for the holiday.  So we made plans to meet up the next day (now that he only lives a block away instead of all the way in Rockville this has become incredibly easy) and I went to bed, exhausted from my season of working retail during the holidays.

The next morning I woke up and started to make Jiffy blueberry muffins when I realized that I had no eggs.  The mix is still sitting in a covered bowl on the counter.  Instead, I made some chocolate chip and walnut cookies from a package of dough I had in the fridge, and I had that and tea for breakfast.  The Lady of The Palace (that’s what I call my landlady) was in town and I had picked out the absolutely perfect gift for her.  It was also the only gift I bought for anyone this year.  She loved it.  After she left for the morning, I sat down at the kitchen table and there was a pile of three prettily wrapped packages and a card with my name spelled wrong.  I thought it was odd that she wouldn’t have said something when I gave her my present, and I wasn’t sure if the gifts were for me.  I mean, who else could they be for, right?  But why didn’t she say anything?  I half opened the two smallest packages and then taped them back up again and called my mom.

“Mom!  A Christmas mystery!”

After hearing the facts, she deduced that the gifts were obviously for me and hung up, possibly disgusted with her daughter’s density.  I opened the presents and the first was a little two dollar peppermint shaped candle.  The next was a little picture frame from the Pottery Barn.  And the third… well, the third was really weird.  It was an Ikea shopping bag!

No.  Really.

I was so confused!  I mean, the Lady of The Palace is usually totally awesome but this was just weird.  Anyways, I decided to just be grateful for the only Christmas presents that I was going to get, and I refolded the wrapping paper (she saves it) and wrote her a thank you note.

Eventually, Ferr came over and we popped in what I hoped would be the first of a few films in my Elizabeth Taylor Christmas marathon.  We ordered Chinese (God bless the Chinese, btw) and started watching Giant.  After we realized that this may be the longest Texas saga in history, we paused it and picked up some wine from the only liquor store that was open, a marvelous little Chinese joint down the street.

Plenty of wine and cookies and Chinese and several hours of Giant gone by and we realized that it was almost time for the Kennedy Center 6pm Millennium Stage show.  I had read that every year on Christmas they do a jazz jam session and I thought, what the heck?  I’ll go.  So, Ferr and I got all gussied up and headed down.

This was easily the saddest event in history.  I absolutely adore the Ken Cen and love their M Stage shows, but God was this depressing.  There were at least one hundred people, probably more, all milling around the hallway like they were waiting in an airport.  With the elevator music (no offense to the Ken Cen or the musicians but this was live Muzak if I’d ever heard it) and the cash bar and the sad faces, this was like a meeting of the lonely hearts club.  A bunch of people with nothing else to do than go to a free show on Christmas with the hopes of not being alone.  Ferr said it best when he said it felt like the waiting room for hell.

Five minutes and we were done.  If I hadn’t been with Ferr, I would have jumped into the Potomac after three.

We cabbed it back to Kalorama and hopped down to the same liquor store.  We bought another bottle of wine and fixings for martinis and ordered Mexican from Super Tacos and Bakery on Columbia.  Then we went back to The Palace and finished the Liz Taylor saga (yes, still the first movie).  Giant finally ended and we turned on The Fantastic Mr. Fox to clear our heads.

After the film, Ferr went home and that was the end of one of the weirdest, funniest, most ridiculous Christmases ever.  I was actually a little happy to go back to work the next day.  Until all of my friends showed off the gorgeous jewelry that their boyfriends got them.  Then the full patheticness of my Yule set in.  But after a while I realized that it could have been worse.  I could have gone through all of that without a good friend suffering with me.

Three days til 2011!  You doing anything special?


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