An American Girl in Washington

A stream of consciousness review of RHofDC

Posted in Real Housewives of DC by AGinDC on 22 August 2010

Having no cable at the Palace, I am not able to watch Real Housewives of DC on Thursday nights.  I’ve been waiting and waiting for Bravo to post the full episodes but for some reason they suck and won’t do it, so today I had to log onto Sidereel and watch Episodes 2 and 3 all in a row.  I was going to type up my notes into paragraph format but then I realized that no RH deserves that kind of formality (not even the deliciously disastrous New Yorkers), so I’m posting as is.  Enjoy!

EPISODE 2:

salahi dude obviously only bought all that shit because he was on tv.  44 is not a big enough year for a horse.  and what the hell kind of grown woman names a horse sparkle??  also, 44???  i thought for sure she was at least 50.

I like Mary.  That giant dog would have to GO!  i don’t need all that hair and shit in my house!  but i love that she learned/speaks spanish with her housekeeper, so many people don’t even try to learn and treat their housekeepers like dirt because they don’t speak english.  YAAY for being semi-culturally sensitive!

Cat is so rude, kids come home!  And why is this her business?? Cat has no emotional intelligence at all.  In every scene, she’s offending people and can’t see from their obvious reactions that she should stop.  Which is so not British.  Brits are usually super reserved and polite.  Maybe that’s why she left.

Paul!  Stop lying!  You do not love that name!  Also, that is exactly how I plan my parties, i start with the blacklist and move up from there.  The fact that Paul likes Michaele makes me want to give her the benefit of the doubt.

I thought Stacy(ie?) was going to be boring because she and her hubs and kids are just so cute and nice and such a good family and that ish just doesn’t work on Real Housewives.  But, I can tell that she likes being an instigator, which is hilaaaarious.  Love.

Really Michaele?  “I am the wife of a rider so I have to look the part?”  And lessons and everything??  Who the hell are these people?  Oh, I know.  These are people like some of the kids in law school.  They don’t know how to have friends so instead they try to use their money to buy them.  boring.  And how many times do you have to clink glasses?  And what, what did you just say?  You served beer because the BARN doesn’t hold a lot of wine??? I’ve fit bottles of wine in my PURSE, you can’t fit a bottle or two in the BARN??

No, this is NOT fair!  You cannot show Aunt Francis cooking while I am sitting here starving!!  Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I want a closet with a ladder in it.

Cat!  You did not just do that!  Could you be ruder?  She has NO upbringing.  I want this show to be about Paul and Aunt Francis.  I love old black ladies who drink Scotch.

Ummmm… the penile WHAT?  Slippage is real.  Best. Quote. Ever.

Ebong is not a good looking man.  He has all of the right qualities but they’re not put together in the best way.

I’m hungry!!!  This is just not right!! Aunt Francis, where are you??

Yup, recycle the Crisco.  Also, I love the people dancing in the background. What’s their story?

No Stacie!  Don’t blame this on the Brits!!  They’re not like this!

Also, is there only one gay man in DC who has to serve as the bf for all wealthy women?  I have at least three gay bf’s, would they like to borrow one?

what the hell do they do with models in DC?  hire them for embassy parties? no, I’m serious, what do they do with them?

Wait!  They showed up in a limo with a “police escort” at someone else’s party?!?!?!   who iiiisss this bitch?  I hate the Salahis.  Loved her dress, but HATE them.

i hope paul had a good time at his party.  they should have invited aunt francis.

EPISODE 3:

Sugarleaf Vineyards.  i think i just found my local wine!

**Note:  I kind of spaced out here for a bit.  Two RH episodes in a row is a bit much.**

LOVE that mary’s kids are in public school

i bet michaele doesn’t even know what her husband does.  and i have no comment about paul’s party except that he better not have to pay for that ish.  poor paul.  i ❤ him.

stacie and hubs are so cute!  i love love love seeing such a beautiful couple who are so down to earth in their every day relationship.  it makes me hopeful!

Michaele’s reaction to Stacie’s story was surprisingly human.  Linda is right, Tareq is the bad influence here.

Oh Paris, I miss you.  I haven’t seen you in so long… I need a job so I can plan a trip.

There’s a fashion world in DC??  PS, props to Mary for showing up on TV with no makeup.

Oh gay men and your love of starting trouble.  This is why we get along.

Thank GOD the black people on this show are all SANE!  way to represent people, you’re steady making up for ATL.  The white women, however, are so inappropriate.  DIANA ROSS??  Thank you Erika for telling the truth.  I don’t know who you are thank you.  And no, Cat, you are SO inappropriate.  Paul, don’t let her get away with thinking there is nothing wrong with what they say.

Well, ok, Tareq is annoying but it is his job to defend his wife… he just has no sense and no class and no upbringing and no manners so he does it in the only way he knows how.

You’re right Linda, “lose the husband” indeed.  Was this reality show foreshadowing?? Hmmm…

THE END

AGinDC

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